How you may be sabotaging your success

When we are being authentic with who we are, success, recognition and approval are not the values that drives our businesses, but rather being courageous - showing up and being seen - playing on center stage.

Speaking with many business owners it is surprising how often we seek the reassurances of recognition and approval. In doing so we quickly fall into the trappings of feeling not good enough. Or that we are not living up to something we have done or haven’t done. It could be a business goal that we haven’t accomplished making us feel unworthy.

It’s the painful experience of believing we are flawed in some way, are not worthy of success. What arises is regret, shame and feelings of guilt.

• Shame for where you’re at with your business.

• Regret of your past choices.

Here are a few examples of what shame could look like:

1. Shame is not meeting a sales quoted.

2. Shame is not being financially accountable

3. Shame is telling a customer you’ve been flat out busy while your not.

4. Shame is failing to continue a business. Twice.

5. Shame is going on an extended holiday knowing I won’t be able to meet the rental next month.

6. Shame is my staff leaving me.

7. Shame is turning up to work and getting distracted - knowing you are not doing the critical tasks.

8. Shame is when somebody says to you “are you new to this business” when actually you’ve been doing it for 10 years.

9. Shame is when you’ve lost interest, lost your mojo in your business, but you tell somebody you absolutely love what you do. And everything’s going great guns!

To move through these feelings you’ve got to own your story. If you own your story you then get to write the ending. As Carl Jung said - “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become”. Look at your business from a place of authenticity and self-worth.

Set yourself up to look at your your business from a new powerful place. Not from scarcity, not from “not enough” but rather from the opposite to scarcity which is “enough”. Then by practicing gratitude is how we acknowledge that there’s enough, that we’re enough.

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1. Ground yourself in the present.

In other words, start where you are. Until you fully accept where you are with your business you cannot move forward. Get real with yourself and shine a light onto all of those things that are not serving you.

2. Reignite your vision.

Reconnect with your vision. Get clear on the vision you see for your business and yourself.

3. Make the decision.

Take a look at the path you are currently on, your predictable future. Then, take a look at your vision. How do you want your business to look? Where do you want to get to?  Make a decision to move towards your vision no matter what. It all starts with a decision.  

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4. Make it bigger than yourself.

Start to build a legacy. When you get to realise your full potential, you are inspiring others to do the same. When you have a mission, a purpose beyond yourself every choice you make not only affects you, but also those around you and closest to you. Each step forward becomes a little easier when you think of the bigger picture.

5. Find the silver lining.

Everything that brought you to this moment, all of your past choices have moulded you to become your best self. It can be hard to see in the moment, but trust your experiences.

6. Get Support.

Get a business mentor, coach to support and guide you. Someone who has been there and understands. Find others who are going through the same thing.